
all within 10 minutes:
i had to get my smog check test thing today. so at the station, some sweet little old lady at the desk takes my information, gives me a jolly rancher, tells me a cute little story, takes my boyfriend's credit card and swipes it. then she asks me for my ID. i tell her "oh i'm sorry, thats my boyfriend's card - if you want to do it as debit i can enter a pin so you know its legit".
this does not work. instead, she stands up, waves the card in the air and informs me that i am breaking the law by using another person's credit card. she should take it and cut it in half because that's what the bank would want her to do. i tell her "ma'am, you can't do that, its illegal to take my card unless the bank tells you to because its has been reported stolen". this angers her even more and she tells me i am a little brat, i am a know-it-all, i am breaking the law, and she's keeping my card. i tell her again, she has no right to do that, and instead of getting upset, i can go to the atm and pay with cash instead. she throws the card at me and tells me it's too late, but to leave immediately or she will call the police. all of this happens in front of about 20 people that now have saucer eyes and jaws on the floor. it probably didn't help that i was laughing the whole time, but come on. an 80 year old lady yelling at me is just funny. time to drive across the street to the dmv.
oh boy. it seems i have accidentally stolen some guys parking spot that he had been waiting for, i promise i had no idea he "claimed" it, since he was hidden behind another car at a 90 degree angle, so i slipped right in and there he was in my rear view, his face a bright shade of red. i kind of felt bad, but not really because i was certain that i had been searching for a spot longer than he had been. anyways, instead of driving off in a fit of anger, he puts his car in park and rolls down his window and hangs out of it waiting for me to get out of my car so he can yell at me. i pretend not to notice and decide to make a phone call - that will really piss him off. after about two minutes, he drives off.
i turn off my car and grab my bag and hear a very alarming "CLUNK" to my right. apparently a young woman getting out of her minivan has misjudged the space between our vehicles and thrust her door full force into the side of my car. i don't even think i would have really cared, but human nature and dane cook are right, the first thing out of my mouth is "HELLOOO!".
do you know what she does? she throws her arms in the air and yells "WHAT!? i didn't MEAN to do it! bitch." and storms away.
what. the heck. was all of that nonsense.